I feel like a housewife.

I'm finding that during my days of unemployment and limited school, that I make a horrible housewife. 

I found myself watching Jerry Springer.  I can't believe that it has gotten sleazier than I remember.  The people on stage are exactly the same.  Some clearly are there to be on TV and making up a story and some appear to be legit.  There are still fights and the shouting of "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!" reminiscent of old Roman Colosseum entertainment.  The audience is what has changed.  During the "question and answer" period, the audience only made poorly thought-out insults to the people on stage usually referring to the cheating women that they are fat and ugly.  One female audience member shouted into the microphone, "Look at these jugs!"  She then presented her bare breasts to the hoots and hollers of the testosterone-heavy youths around her.  This presentation of her mammary glands had nothing to do with the topic du jour, which was "I cheated on you with a threesome".  I found the whole show to be a sober form of Mardi Gras.

In addition to my trash TV, I went to the dollar store to look for bon bons(oh my god, what has become of my life?!!?).  At the dollar store, I purchased a nail buffer, because hey, it was there and it was only a dollar.  Now, I spend my time, in front of Jerry Springer, buffing my nails and eating bon bons.  In related news, my nails are extremely shiny.  I didn't really think it would make a difference, but it does.

I find myself not doing housework or anything around the house.  Oh sure, I have plans, but I get sidetracked by Jerry or Internet or junk.  I manage to do the dishes daily and drag the vacuum across the floor occasionally.  I don't even cook.  I can't cook.  Greg and I have determined that I can't cook.  He was amazed that I was able to burn some eggs for him and still mange to have the yolks runny.  It takes talent, I say.  Seriously, I can't cook.  Greg, on the other hand, is able to improvise impressive meals.  He rarely uses recipes.  He just cooks perfectly.  Not easy stuff either...well, not easy to me.  He basically improvised carnitas without ever seeing a recipe and I question whether or not he has ever eaten carnitas either.  Get this, it was the best carnitas I've ever had.  What the?!?

Greg has been uber supportive though in stating that I'm almost a typical housewife.  He adds that to be a typical housewife that in addition to doing nothing, I need to act frazzled.  I need to act like I'm just so put out that he should be grateful for what I do.  It is a full time job you know...especially with taking care of the dogs.  Thanks for the tip Greg.  I'll get on that. 

This is the baddest day of my life

When I was three, I wrote myself a note that said, "this is the baddest day of my life".  I then put it in my file that had all my important documents like my birth certificate.  I can't believe that I was three when I wrote that, but thinking that I could have gotten the date wrong is just not possible.  I must admit though, I did spell "baddest" incorrectly...what an idiot.  Please note though that even at three, I used a period.

I'm not sure what happened that day and I realized that even at such a young age my memory was fallible, so it was good form for me to write some way to remember the travesties that occurred.  At a much later date, I wrote a note (now lost) stating that "Mom favors Kathy".  I'm sure a similar injustice occurred on March 25, 1974.  When addressing the matter with my parents, they are rather tight-lipped.  I'm sure that they are guilty of some heinous deed.

Today wasn't the baddest day.  To say so would cloud the already faded memory of 3/25/74.  However, today was a no good day...a no good day indeed.  I went to my eye appointment because of cloudiness in my left eye.  Well, I think partly because I have obscured vision in my left eye, I ran over a parking lot raised island.  This completely blew out my tire which I left in the parking lot as I went in to my appointment.

In my appointment, I learned that I had a virally induced corneal ulcer, which sounds so serious, but isn't that big of a deal.  When I went out to get my car, Greg was out there putting on my spare, which he first had to fill with air.  This was something that made my no good day, not so bad.  My eye appointment was next to a tire place and they replaced my tire and gave us a matching one at 4:55, even though they closed at 5:00.  That also made my no good day a little better.  However, it wasn't at all free, so I'm calling that event even.

I then went to get my three medications for my eye filled at Target....$200 and they have to special order one of them.

In other news, Greg diagnosed the ulcers before I went to my primary care doctor back in December.  Well, he said "you've got holes in your eyes".  He was right.  If only my primary care doctor actually looked at my eye this could have been taken care of a lot sooner.  She is now my previous primary care doctor.

Oh...and one of my fillings fell out.