One Blood-Filled Afternoon

So, I decided that I'm getting older and with age comes the need for certain tests. (Yes, like prostate, thanks for bringing that up.) Anyway, I was thinking that it is about time that I took a cholesterol test. Problem is that whenever I get to the doctor, I've always had coffee and you need to be fasting. Solution?



Why not? It's cheap and kind of fun to do such a test at home. The test has all kinds of time restrictions: Hold hand down at side for 5 minutes, hold hand down for 30 seconds after sticking, put blood in hole within 3 minutes, wait three minutes but not more than 4, pull tab wait for 15 minutes. It's crazy.

So, I stick my finger and to my surprise...no pain whatsoever. I felt nothing and I was bleeding. So I go to put blood in the circle of the test and I just have a tiny drop. Barely enough to even wet the surface. So, I squeeze and squeeze for another drop. Unfortunately, the "circle" is concaved, when I touch it with my finger I just spread it around. I get blood everywhere but in the damn circle. It's on the table, my shirt, and my hands look like I just killed someone and chopped them into bits. The damn little circle though is rather pristinely clean, mocking me.


I eventually get it all in and wait the appropriate amount of time and the results are kind of low, 136. So, they are highly suspect.

I recommend this test for an unusual time, but not for accurate results.