Thursday, July 28, 2005

Further tales of the world's worst vegetarian

So, I've decided to take the next step in becoming the world's worst vegetarian. This next step actually includes excluding meat from my diet. Isn't that a funny sentence, "includes excluding"? One exception is seafood, which I don't really eat very often anyway. I'm also allowed to eat lamb chops, which I never get, but love oh so much. I can eat pepperoni, because it is part of my favorite food in the world. The other item I can eat is bacon, delicious, good-for-you bacon.

I'm sick, so last night I had chicken noodle soup, but ate around most of the chicken. When I've tried to become a vegetarian before, it always meant doing away with all meat and eating any minuscule amount of meat meant failure. Now with my new "worst vegetarian" program, I don't care. I've reduced meat intake greatly and that's good enough for me.

"But why?" you might ask or maybe you won't ask and are rather just reading along, bored out of your mind, thinking about how much longer this post is going to be, wondering if I know how to use a comma, and if you should even bother adding a comment at all. So, let's say you didn't ask. I'll ask for you, "but why become a vegetarian at all? Is it health reasons? Is it ethical reasons? Is it environmental reasons?" The answer is "yes and also because I don't really like meat that much". The only think I'll miss terribly is tacos and burgers and I think you can see the health benefits of not eating those items. I've also cut out deep fried foods, because I've eaten one too many french fries and I'm very sick of them. They're everywhere. Every single meal, anywhere in Vegas, comes with French Fries. I've eaten enough of them to satisfy me for life. (The exception to this is that I can eat tempura, yum).



On my rampage to become a mediocre vegetarian, I bought a Burt's Bees sample pack. (I know it seems unrelated, but there is a loose association there. You gotta admit that.) I tried all of the products and they all smell great, but I think some of them are pretty useless. For example, the cuticle creme, I just don't understand why I need to keep my cuticles moist. I guess it's a girl thing. Also, I think the hand salve is a waste of space. My favorite item is the citrus facial scrub. It smells like orange pekoe tea with roses and my face feels coated with moisture after using it. We're all about moisture here in Las Vegas.