Saturday, July 31, 2004

Credit Card Offer

I just got the best credit card offer ever.

There is $50.00 origination fee.

There is a monthly maintenance fee of $10.00 ($120.00 annually)

The APR is only 23.99%.

The APR goes up to 29.99% if you are ever late on a payment.

There is an overlimit fee of $32.00

Dante reserved a special play in hell for bankers that charged interest on loans. What would he think of this? I feel sorry for anyone fool enough to get this card, albeit a cool, clear Visa.

Apathy

not much to say

M. Night Shyamalan’s The Village

I'm not going to give away the Shyamalan trademark surprise so feel free to read this.

By the way, they are not dead, comic book villains, nor are they afraid of water.

This movie was OK, definitely wait for video. It is not big in the scary department, just a little. It reminded me more of a newer episode of The Outer Limits. I like the Outer Limits, but usually the Outer Limits is not over 2 hours long.

I also figured out what the "surprise" was going to be. I think it was a little obvious. Greg figured out what the surprise was going to be too. I think the problem with M. Night Shyamalan is that everyone now knows there is going to be an Outer Limits-like surprise at the end. That just makes you get ready for it and look for it.

As always, the preview was a better movie than the movie. What I really wanted to see was I, Robot. I'm sure they weren't very faithful the Isaac Asimov story, but would still like to see it.

Response from mkhobson:

But wasn't San Joaquin Phoenix CUUUUUTTTE? (Actually, he's kinda creepy, but I guess that's what makes him cute too.)

My response:

It's funny that you said that. I was going to put something in about Joaquin Phoenix. I'm not a Joaquin Phoenix fan and I thought that you must be. Seems like your kind of actor, I know you like them creepy. He wasn't creepy in this film anyway.

liligan's response:

Hi Patrick,
You are a funny boy.
;)
Michelle

My response:

Michelle,
Why am I a funny boy? Are you going to start a journal? I sure am excited to learn about your deepest, darkest secrets.
Patrick

Thursday, July 29, 2004

How to Play Craps Part I - The Pass Line

I'm doing this in installments, because damn it is a lot.

The pass line is the basic bet in craps. It is the game really and everything else is just a side bet. (Sure, there are hundreds of side bets.) So put some money on the pass line.

The first roll, aka the "come-out" roll determines the point. So the puck is black and not on a number. During this first roll, a 2, 3, or 12 will lose your money. A 7 or 11 will win. Now if one of those numbers just mentioned roll, the next roll is still a come out roll. Why? because there is still no point.

So, let's say a 4, 5, 6, 8, 9, or 10 roll (they are the numbers across the top). Let's say a 5 rolls. The puck is turned to the white side on top of the five. This is the point. The only two numbers that matter is the five and the seven (Forget about 2, 3, 11, 12. They don't matter anymore). Now if five rolls again, you win and a new game is started. If seven rolls, you lose and a new game is started. That's it! When the point is 5 and 6 rolls, nothing happens to the passline bet; if 12 rolls, nothing happens to the passline bet.

What about the money you see people putting behind the line? That's a good question, I'm glad you asked. That is called odds and it pays differently depending on what number is the point. This is the best bet in the whole casino, because it is true odds. That means there is no house advantage on that bet. The house advantage is on the pass line bet. (Of course, this means you must have a pass line bet to place odds. Otherwise, how is the casino to make money).

Let's say they offer 6X 8X 10X odds like the Golden Nugget. That means you can place up to 6X your passline bet for odds on the 4 and 10, 8X the passline on the 5 and 9, and 10X on the 6 and 8. You don't have to know that, because you can ask the dealer everytime. So if you have $5 and the point is 5, you can bet up to $40 behind the bet (8X). If the casino offers double odds you can only place up to twice your passline bet for odds.

Because of the possible dice combinations, the payout on odds are different.
There are 6 possible combinations to roll a 7 on two dice.
There are 5 combinations for 6 and 8.
There are 4 combinations for 5 and 9.
There are 3 combinations for 4 and 10.

So those are the payouts for odds. The possibility of rolling a six before a seven is 6 to 5. Six combinations of 7 and five combinations of 6.
Thus for every 5 dollars you place behind a 6 you get 6 dollars.
Five and nine pay 6 to 4 or if you remember fractions 3 to 2. $6 would pay you $9. Even numbers are better or you get cheated out of 50 cents. $5 would pay you $7.50, but we don't have 50-cent pieces so you only get $7.00.
Four and ten pay 6 to 3 or better known as 2 to 1. $5 would pay you $10.

I know it is confusing, but it really does make sense, I promise you. It is easier to understand when you are looking at the game.

Response from mkhobson:

OK, the odds stuff sounds interesting. I am definitely going to try some odds betting next time we go to Spirit Mountain. What's the terminology you use? "Dealer, $5 on the passline and $40 in odds on eight"? How do you actually indicate the bet you want to place?

One night when we were playing craps, we were standing down by the end of the table, where the guy was actually rolling the dice. He had a bet on the pass line, and someone at the other end of the table threw money to the throwers end of the table and said "put some feet on that bet."

What the hell did that mean?

My response:

The odds are the game. You don't have to say a thing to the dealer, you just put it down. By the way, you can pick up the odds anytime, the pass line bet has to stay until it wins or loses.

The guy that said "put some feet on that bet" meant odds. He meant for the guy to put odds behind his bet (I say behind, but it is actually in front of the bet from your perspective). A lot of gamblers can't stand to see people play without odds because then the player ends up treading water at best.

The more correct way to say that would be to say "put some SHOES on that bet". Odds are often referred to as shoes.

That is different from when a player says, "Come on, Papa needs a new pair of shoes". In that case, they are expressing a desire to win to perhaps buy themselves some shoes.

My favorite way that I have heard to express desire to win is to name the restaurant that you could go to with your winnings. "Come on, I'm going to McDonald's". Then with more winnings, "I'm gonna supersize". Eventually, they work up to Black Angus and then some ritzy restaurant. I imagine it would eventually end up being a kitchen remodel, but I've never heard them get that far.

The Fickle Mind of the Blackjack Player

Tonight I had a player. Let's call him, "Texas". "Texas" is a real nice guy, but he doesn't tip. So, I don't know what to really think about him. Usually, I like people from Texas when they come to play. They tend to be good tippers.

Well, Mr. Texas wasn't tipping. He got a little annoying though when he started to lose. I would get a "21" and he would look at me as if I had some 'splainin' to do. I would just shrug my shoulders and deal the next hand. he started to swear a lot. "Jesus Christ", "Sh*t" and "F*ck" were common. He would yell out, "Unbelievable!!!" often. Then I realized something. He was up about $700. His loses stuck in your mind, but when he won he said nothing or quietly muttered, "It's about time". I should have shouted out, "Un - f*cking - believable" every time he made a "21".

Now, Texas is nice because he seems to blame the cards. A lot of people blame the dealer. For example, a well-known financial adviser would flip me off and say, "F*ck You Bitch!" whenever he lost. I am not allowed to say his name as long as I work for the Golden Nugget, but you probably do know him.

By the way, you can't swear at a dealer unless you are betting at least $100 a hand and even then it is iffy. He was betting $12,000 a hand, so whatever he wanted to do was fine with the casino. Who said casinos can't be bought....I guess there is no surprise there.

At $5 and $10 tables, swearing is not allowed period. They will kick you out of any of the casinos that I have worked at. This is pretty common and a shock to people who think of Vegas as Adult World. The Golden Nugget is pretty easy about it, unless there is a woman present.

Response from mkhobson:

I hate that. I hate the superstitiousness of players. I hate it when we're at the poker table, and some yutz says, "why can't you deal me a hand?" As if the dealer has anything to do with it. It's stupid and annoying. Other things that are stupid and annoying are demands for table shuffles and demands for new setups when people are running bad. It just slows up the game.

Oh well.

BTW, what's the Nugget's policy on card counting? You'll have to do an entry on that someday, if you get the chance. I really don't understand how casinos can say it's cheating when really, it's just playing the game very very well.

My response:  

Card counting is not cheating and in fact is not illegal either. It tips the scales in the players favor slightly. However, there are safeguards against card counting. For instance, when dealing with two decks, we only deal down to 1/2 to 3/4 of the way down and then shuffle. If someone bets very erratically we are to let the floor supervisor know, ie. $10 one hand $500 the next, etc. I've never had anyone bet that erratically though.
I have never heard anything on a table about a player counting cards from the management. Supposedly, they will kick you out, as is their right to refuse service. I have had players think they are counting cards and so much as tell me, but they still lose. I think the idea of counting cards is just to get people in thinking if they use this strategy they will win.
There is apparently a winning strategy that was put out by MIT graduates, but I imagine it is very complex and requires several people. Probably though, it doesn't work.

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

My Dirty Little Secret at Work

OK, I'm a craps dealer. I have been since I started and I hate it. You have to deal with eight people yelling at you to place this bet or that bet and they don't know what they are doing. The boxperson is yelling at the person working the stick to move the dice faster, so you are constantly moving. People are throwing money. A know-it-all places a $174 six and want it pressed when it hits. It pays $203, You pay out $16 and make his bet $248. That is in a pain in the ass. You can't hear the stick persons call and you can't look at the dice at the other end. Everyone is yelling at you (even when you are good), things are going crazy and then someone comes up and says, "Teach me how to play this game". No matter how well you explain it, they are too drunk to understand and just keep saying, "I don't understand, I just don't understand." Shoot me now!!!!

Dice dealers tend to think that they are better than everybody else and they also hate to deal blackjack. I on the other hand, hate craps and think that I'm equal.

What's the secret then?

For some reason, the Golden Nugget misplaced the information that I deal craps and put me exclusively on blackjack. I'm telling no one. You see, craps dealers are usually in demand, that's part of the reason I got hired. If they knew, they would have me on craps all the time. I am so happy with my job at the Golden Nugget.

Response from mkhobson:

Oh my freaking God I can't believe you're a craps dealer. Dan loves craps, but I absolutely, totally cannot figure it out. It completely baffles me, even when I'm not drunk. (But I've never asked a dealer to explain it to me. I never ask dealers anything. I always assume they're too busy. But then, you see, I am a sensitive and sophisticated person.) Many's the time I've watched the craps dealers and thought, "what a shitty job that would be because it must be so f*ing confusing and complicated." Jeez!

And no one ever tips craps dealers. At least not that I've ever seen.

But couldn't you be the guy who sits behind the huge stacks of chips and just watches it all go down? What is he, like the table boss or something? He's like the spider in the middle of the web, just waiting for suckers to blunder up against him.

My response:

You can ask dealers how to play, just make sure they aren't too busy or at least pay good attention. That is their job and if you are nice, they won't mind at all. Just please don't be drunk. I'll do a post on how to play craps later. I'm the best at explaining it.

Craps dealers get a lot of tips, if people are winning only. My largest tip was $1,800. It was a bet on the hard "8" (which means two "4's". You may not get a lot and then BAM! You get a ton.

They guy behind the chips is called the boxman or more recently the boxperson. All they do is watch for mistakes, count money and color people up. Usually, they wait until you are really burnt out before they make you boxperson. They also don't make tips, so sometimes the dealers make more than they do and they have to wear a suit.

mkhobson's response:

It was a bet on the hard "8" (which means two "4's". You may not get a lot and then BAM! You get a ton.

Yeah, hard 8. That's Dan's favorite bet. If he's having a downswing at the poker table, or is just bored with all the crappy hands he's picking up, he'll head over to the craps table and put down a few hard 8 bets. Sometimes, if he notices me getting frustrated or on tilt, he'll give me some chips and tell me to go bet the hard 8. I've made up losing nights that way. But I'm never quite certain when I'm supposed to throw money out, who I'm supposed to throw it to, whether it's supposed to be "off" or "on", when it's "working" and when it's not ... whatever. It's all very intimidating. I shall look forward to your explanation someday.

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Dealing to Mr. "A"

The "A" stands for annoying. This is a gentleman who comes into the high limit pit and talks the floor supervisor into letting him bet $25 per hand. On a dead game, we need players and will let him bet that low.

The annoying thing is that he does a blow by blow of what just happened. "I had 13 and took a hit and got a 3 and took another hit and ended up with 18. You had a 7 showing and turned over a 9 and got a 2 and so we pushed".

I just want to scream, "I know, I was there. It happened 2 seconds ago."

I told this to a fellow dealer and she suggested that I give the blow by blow before he does when he loses. "You had 17, I had 21, you lost". So, I went back and did just that and within 3 hands he went to another table.

The really annoying thing though and this only matters if you are a dealer. He would change a $25 check and get four $5 checks 4 dollars and 2 fifty-cent pieces(FYI, chips are only on roulette, everything else is a check). He did this so he could bet $12.50 on top of his $25 bet. $32.50 is a pain in the ass payout especially when he gets blackjack. Of course, he never tips... or so everyone thought. I've gotten a little bit of money out of him before. (It was like getting help from a republican.) At the other table, he was up about $5,000 and starting tipping like crazy. Everyone including that dealer was amazed. Usually people who put any fifty cent piece on their bet are not going to tip. He ended up with $9,000.

Never put fifty cents on top of your bet, it is like giving a waitress a penny.

Response from mkhobson:

OK, here's an idea. You keep a squirt bottle full of water down behind the table, and every time Mr. A does something annoying, you hit him in his puss with a stinging jet of cold water. Simultaneously, you say "NO" in a very loud voice.

Well, I dunno. It got my cat to stop peeing on the couch, but maybe it wouldn't work in a casino environment.


My response back:

I'll check with the floor supervisor.

And later:

OK, I checked....they were not amused. I thought it would be fun and exciting. But no!! They are just too professional.

Monday, July 26, 2004

First Entry

What can I say? I'm afraid that I'm not going to be a very good journal keeper. I always start something and then never go through with it. It's kind of like when you start the lawn mower and then go inside to watch some TV.

I currently work at the Golden Nugget as a high limit blackjack dealer. I crave a real job, a job with real hours.

The problems are:

1. Dealing pays really well and is really easy.
2. My past work history is sooo eclectic that there is no chance in hell that I could get a job in anything that requires experience.

I recently applied for a job at the local newspaper as a promotion director. I thought all of my past experiences might work out to my advantage. I let you know when I get a rejection letter.