I don't know how to feel about this

You Are The Key Character
"It's what I was meant to do."
You are the true enigma. No one knows much about you, you do not understand much of yourself, and your life seems to carry no purpose. Yet regardless of everything around you - everyone knows that you are here for some reason, even if no one yet knows what that is. Things seem to simply fall into place for you. Almost as though some force is working either through you, for you, or around you. No matter your troubles, ou have been sent here to unlock something. This is your destiny.

Which Classic Story Role Do You Play?
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Well , at least you aren't the key character.

Decemberists - Mariner's Revenge Song

So, suggested that I download the song by the Decemberists - Mariner's Revenge Song. The song is very unique in that you don't hear sea chantys very much anymore. Well, OK, the only sea chanty I know is "Blow the Man Down". Really, I guess I don't really know what a sea chanty is. However, I would like to classify this as a sea chanty, probably too long though. Anyway, it is a great song. The following are some of the lyrics from the song. They almost remind me of Shakespeare in their depiction of revenge.

"Find him, bind him
Tie him to a pole and break
His fingers to splinters
Drag him to a hole until he
Wakes up naked
Clawing at the ceiling
Of his grave

There is one thing I must say to you
As you sail across the sea
Always, your mother will watch over you
As you avenge this wicked deed"

Are we obnoxious?

Couple of things.

I forgot to add this about Joe, the foul mouthed dealer:

I think he did kill someone. I forgot to talk about how he said it is always good to keep a "throwaway" which is a gun that is "hot" and you can toss in the sewer when you use it that way it can't be traced back to you. He said he doesn't have a throwaway because now he is "legit".

Thanks to , I remembered that.

finally has a new post that makes me think that every one that serves me secretly hates me. Do we hate the people we serve because of repetition or because they really are obnoxious? I hope it is repetition. There really isn't much you can do to not be repetitious in someone else's footsteps.

Joe the foul-mouthed dealer from Philly

So, there is a dealer that I work with that is in his 50's and of Italian descent. He works the word "fucking" into his sentences with ridiculous frequency. I am not offended, but I find it immature. He'll say things like "He owns this fucking piece of fucking land. You can fucking build fucking anything you fucking want on it. You could build a fucking McDonald's, a fucking Taco Bell, a fucking Jack in the Box, a fucking Wendy's" by now you're thinking, I get it. You can build a fucking fast food restaurant, but he goes on. "a fucking Del Taco, a fucking Burger King, a fucking McDonald's." Oh, did he mention this already. Yes, and in a normal conversation he fucking repeats himself fucking three or more times.

He also likes to refer to his "piece", a handgun. He likes to wear it in his pants and takes it with him in his car. When someone almost ran him off of the road in an honest driving error, he had them pull over and ran up to their car screaming with. He amuses himself with the fact that they were petrified, because he later realized they could see his gun in his pants. He obsessed with security, safety, and not being the victim of a crime. His house is outfitted with "fucking sensor lights" and "fucking surveillance cameras" to detour and catch anyone thinking of committing a crime.

The last day that he worked with me (he got another "fucking job" at "fucking Mandalay Bay"), he was talking about how times have changed. "You can't commit a fucking murder like you fucking used to with all the fucking forensics nowadays. You know what I fucking mean? I mean you used to be fucking able to pop a fucking cap behind the fucking ear with a fucking .22, wrap them up in a fucking shower curtain and fucking dump them out in the fucking woods. The next day, you would fucking read about it in the fucking paper." He then kind of alluded to the fact that he had commited a murder. It was like he was catching himself from saying it. I can't even remember the exact wording. I really don't think that he is the type to brag about a murder he hadn't committed. Anyway, he continued talking about how his Grandfather had to have a car with a big trunk "back in those days, it was important to be able to stick a couple of fucking bodies in the back, you know what I mean?" It's funny, whenever I describe the size of a trunk I always say how many bodies can fit in it. So, Joe, I know exactly what you mean. He also talked about the fact that he had been taken in for questioning about murders three times and the trick is to say "I don't fucking know nothing" over and over. His grandfather always told him, they can't trick you if you don't know.

Now Joe has also taken fake slips in supermarkets and then later hit his foot with a hammer so he could get a settlement. He is also quite proud of that fact.

What I got for my birthday

I by no way want anyone to reply to this and say Happy Birthday. I'm not fishing for birthday compliments. That being said, on my birthday I got:

1. A check from my parents.

2. Some horrible, I mean nasty, cupcakes. For some reason, stores are now using a red food coloring that tastes like insecticide. I also got a cake from Greg's mother, which thankfully was much better.

3. A deck of cards from Marlboro in a box that says

and when you open it up


I'm not sure how to take the Marlboro gift. "We're killing you, so here's to one of your few remaining birthdays. Oh and by the way, gambling is fun too." Thanks Marlboro

I was also told that I would be getting gifts from Greg and my sister. I'm still waiting though. I actually sent mine off to my sister on time for once and she sent hers late for once. How did we trade places?

Anyway, on my own, I took the money from my parents and went shopping. I got:

Well, we have a serigraph by Anatole Krasnyansky that fell out of it's frame and I found one of the cats scratching at it on the floor. It was undamaged, but I took it to a framing shop to have it remounted and get glass put in front of it.


While there I got some pastels and pastel paper to doodle on.

I got:






The Flaming lips was a total mistake. It turns out it was from a BBC show where they choose songs that they like. I was thinking it was remakes of The Flaming Lips. Boy oh boy, was I wrong.

I also went to buy some shoes. I wanted some Ecco's because I heard they were great. I found some at a Nordstrom Rack, but they were horribly ugly. Sorry Dad, I'll have to wait until they have a better style.

I also got a gift card in the mail from Aveda for free personalized perfume. It's not really personalized....well, it is if you consider choosing it to be personalized. I chose a mixture of patchouli, jasmine and sandalwood. I used to think that patchouli smelled like dirt and sweat, but now I like it. While I was there in the Desert Passage Mall at the Aladdin, I also bought some scented candles (patchouli, oddly enough) and a pretzel.

There, that was my birthday.

Best Friends Forever

Picture of dogs

No hanky panky, this is actually how the dogs sleep sometimes when there isn't enough room on the couch. This was taken Christmas morning.

Am I dumb?

I never knew the FedEX logo had a hidden arrow in it. You learn something new everyday.

Free writing class

OK, so I'm taking a free writing class online for fun (of course they are trying to sell you something). The lesson they had me do is take the three words: Fire, Clock, and Certainty and put them in a story, which you have to write in 5 minutes. The first word of one of the story had to be one of the words. Also, you weren't allowed to think while writing which is pretty much writing class 101. So, I did it and it created something that doesn't seem like me at all. Of course, they replied that it was outstanding, but not to take their word for it, but show it to my friends. I think it is crap and will not be offended if you think it is crap. I hope you think it is crap in fact, because I want to see how form lettery their response was. Shoot, I should have written pure crap and seen what they would have said. Here it is:


Fire welled up inside of him. He was so angry. His eyes bulged out as he
stared at the clock watching each precious second tick by. How could she be
so late? How could she be so inconsiderate? All right, it was only their
first date and only five minutes had passed, but tardiness is unforgivable.
That was a certainty in all aspects of lfe. He had never been late for
anything in his life. He was born on the day the doctors predicted and hit
puberty at 13 just like the health books in school said he should.

Now, he could not wait any longer. "This is ridiculous. Being stood up in
a coffee house," he muttered under his breath, getting up to leave. "I'm
not going to wait any longer." Just then, she entered wearing a light,
flowered, summery dress. She saw him and smiled, her hair glistened as a
breeze brushed through it.

"Sorry, I'm late." Her eyes sparkled under the art house lighting.

"I didn't even realize. I just got here myself," he replied as he pulled
out a chair for her.

Oddly addictive game

Test out your ten key skills.

Inside of a Toyota Echo

Buffet Dream

I just had a dream where I was at a buffet and it was really busy. They didn't have enough workers, so I decided to help out as a cocktail server. So, I walked around this busy place and asked, "Can I get you anything?...Cocktails...Anything from the bar?" One gentleman asked for a "70's" espresso. I knew there was no such thing, but I just smiled and said that I would get him one. I figured I could just get him a regular espresso, but wear polyester or something when I brought it. He was nice and foreign. I guessed that if I didn't bring a "70's" espresso, a regular one when you're on vacation in another country wouldn't be too much of a shock.

Another man asked for a ham sandwich. I was shocked and said that I served cocktails and he angrily replied, "I'm sure they have ham sandwiches here. Get me a ham sandwich!" He was very cross and I figured how hard could it be. Well, I couldn't find an espresso machine or any ham sandwiches. I looked all over the buffet, but I eventually gave up. I had no desire to get this stuff for the men anyway. I thought one of them was being unreasonable asking for items that don't exist and the other one is just a jerk.

So, I left the buffet to see the rest of...apparently, a maze/amusement park where the amusement was a bizarre maze. It was actually quite fun to walk around in, but by the time I found the people I was with, a real cocktail waitress came up. She said that I abandoned those people after pretending to be a cocktail server. She called security to escort me out. The End

Dirty Mind Test

Take the dirty mind test....click here.

Really Large Pictures

This picture I took so you could see the strong wind in the palm tree. However, the thing I notice most about it, is the horrible gas prices.




This is the bell tower that I see from the parking garage at the Golden Nugget. What you can't see is that there are no bells in there but rather a bell shaped speaker. Ah, technology really romanticizes everything.




Here is the church that houses the bell tower. Apparently, there is a saint that can make fireballs with their hands.

I feel I should put something in my journal just because I haven't for a while. So, sit back and get ready to read a boring entry.

Work has improved recently. I haven't been in the high roller room for a week and the people that I have been dealing to have been nice. All of the dealers noticed that the people over the past two weeks have been just awful. Isn't it funny that all the jerks go on vacation at the same time.

Greg said that he is tired of thinking that the "grass is greener on the other side". Now that he got a job at Whiskey Pete's as a server, he's thinking that he isn't going to try to apply to another job for a very long time. I, of course, think that a job in town would be better than a 41 mile drive each way (that's 82 miles a day for the hopelessly math impaired). I figure after some experience and after he tires of the drive and gas prices, he will apply for a server job in town. He kind of wants me to adapt the same attitude as he, but I can't. I can't be a dealer the rest of my life. The older dealers that I work with are "burnt". They hate their jobs and they hate life. Also, I don't want to be working until 4AM for the rest of my life. I'm not sure what to do next, which has always been my problem all along. It's too bad that Greg doesn't enjoy job and city hopping as much as I do. Oh well.

Well, that is all for now.

Bad Day

So, I had a bad day. I really didn't enjoy today in the least. I've been down about work lately, mostly because we have had a lot of rich golfers playing. So, tip money has been way down. And, as you know from my rantings about golfers, I haven't been treated very nicely either.

Well, the golfers were gone today. I haven't been in the high limit pit all week (I think they know I'm pretty burned out on it). So, they've been keeping me on $25 dollar tables in the regular pits. Today, I started dealing like a zombie not really wanting to put on a show, but the customers were great. They were some of the nicest people I've dealt to in a long time. Not a lot in tips, but some tips. That's what a dealing job is all about. I stopped being so down about it. Then, I was tapped out and told to take out Pai Gow Poker for twenty minutes. I really didn't know why. I haven't dealt Pai Gow Poker for almost a year. I get there and no one is friendly and one guy is betting $200, more than I have ever dealt to on Pai Gow. So, I decided to go a little slow and make sure I do everything right. Well, at the end of the twenty minutes, I laid out my hand incorrectly. The floor supervisor came over and said "straight" quietly (actually, he doesn't really speak english. All I heard was a grunt.) Then the dealer came over back from break and said "straight" as well (also, not an english speaker). And then I saw that I had a straight. Well, I already gave the first $10 better a push. That means that they get off without losing due to my fault. Well, the person betting $200 had his hand spread out when I rearranged my hand to a straight. (It helps if you understand Pai Gow Poker to get what I'm talking about). Anyway, that turned his winning hand into a losing hand, but I thought it was a push. I heard "loss" and realized that I should take his money, so I did. (Actually, I'm not suppose to take his money, because his hand was spread out when I rearranged my hand. That's Nevada gaming law.) But I took it, not thinking because I'm never over there and I had no instruction from my supervisor, not even in the form of grunts. The guy started incoherently yelling and yelling, insisting that the supervisor call the camera. So, I laid out his hand again and then he said he was wrong and that he did lose. That ended that ordeal as I went on break.

I asked the pit boss what was going on, why did I have to go to Pai Gow? He said that they needed to get a statement from the dealer because they were going to arrest that man (the large better) for past posting. (Past posting is when a person adds money to their bet after they learn that they are going to win). The man was arrested shortly after.

Anyway, I went back to my table after my break and the people had all changed. It turned into one of the worst tables I have ever been on. I have to constantly tell two drunk people to not use two hands on the cards. One of them would instantly drop the cards like they were hot potatoes. The other one would yell, "Jeez, why are guys so mean?" I was actually really nice about it. The people were winning and still acting like they were taking a beating. One drunk lady constantly said, "You suck!" to me. And everyone was complaining about the cards even though the lowest player was up $100 and some players were up $1,000. I really can't describe how horrible it was, but trust me it was horrible. And, of course, no tips.

The person relieving me came to take me out 40 minutes 'til the end of the shift, which means a 20 minute break and then back to the table. He told me just to go home and that he would take care of the table. That never happens. Dealers don't do that. Dealers don't voluntarily work an extra twenty minutes, but I think everyone could see that I had it. Near the end, I even said while dealing, "Jesus Christ, what have I done to deserve this table?!" I never do things like that. It was taken light-heartedly by the table though, as I knew it would.

Then on top of that, my break coincided with someone that I can't stand. I really can't stand this guy and I can tolerate almost anyone. I can't stand his voice or is face. I sometimes walk around him just so I don't have to hear him say "hello". I always try to avoid getting the same break as him. I think he is an idiot for so many reasons. I can't stand idiots and he is the cream of the crop.

So, he sat down by me today as I knew he would and made some small chit chat that I could tolerate. He then turned it into a tirade about what Louis Farrakahn said in a speech. He said that Farrakahn said that black people should strap bombs on themselves and blow up white people more so than the terrorists. I know that Farrakahn is known to make outrageous statements, but I knew exactly where this was coming from and so I calmly pointed it out after he finished yelling about it. (Oh, and there was a black man at the table next to us). I said, "What is the source on this? It sounds like Fox News." He said that he was sure it was on all of the channels. I said, "Well, it really sounds like Fox News. They like to take statements out of context. I know that Farrakahn says some crazy things, but it really sounds like Fox News blowing something out of proportion." He said, "yeah, well, he's crazy. And if you turned on the news today you would have seen it on all of the news channels." I replied truthfully, "well, I watched the news today and I didn't see it, but I didn't watch Fox News." This left him speechless until he said it was time to go back to work. He didn't approach me again that night.