Wonder Twins Short

Watch this two minute short. It's worth your time.

What my bookmarked pages say to the world.

So, I recently finished a Microbiology class. I had to complete a case study, where I was presented (on paper) with a real case. Getting all the information that the doctor would, I had to order tests and determine what microorganism had infected this patient.

Of all the organisms, I could have gotten. I received a relatively easy one:


Hepatitis B

So, I have a lot of bookmarks on my web browser for Hepatitis B. Add to this the fact that I bookmarked some "2 girls, one cup" stuff to show Greg. Anyone looking at my bookmarks would assume that I have a feces obsession that gave me hepatitis. Quite a little story my bookmarks tell.

I've since changed them and now they say that I bank online and am thinking about getting a Tivo.

Disgusting things

OK, so someone told me about the "2 girls, 1 cup" phenomena. I guess it has been around for quite a while. If you don't know about it, let me just say this: Once you see it, you can't UN-see it. I don't recommend watching it at all. Here is a video of some people reacting to it:

It didn't really bother me that much, but it was pure disgusting and I think it is the most disgusting thing on the Internet (that is still legal). (Animal cruelty is by far more disgusting as well as many crimes against others).

I just wonder, is that it? Have I reached the bottom of what is disgusting?

I showed it to Greg and he said, "Why are you showing this to me?" I just thought it was nice to get it out of the way. Now you've seen the most disgusting thing there is and you survived it. Everything else is a piece of cake. You're welcome little Greg...you're welcome.

He just came in and said that he imagines certain aspects of 2 girls and 1 cup to be fake. He then said that he has to think that to get through the rest of his life.

A Mighty Thirst

I had a younger woman come to my blackjack table the other day wearing a T-shirt that read, "It ain't going to lick itself." Her boyfriend had a T-shirt that read "For Rent: by the hour".

She immediately said, "Where's the cocktail waitress? Get me the cocktail waitress and keep her coming. I get a mighty thirst going on."

I barely prevented myself from saying, "Are you sure you're not confusing thirst with the DT's?"

The worst is when one of these thirsty people don't get a drink within 2 minutes. I have to hear about their outrage like I've just personally crushed the head of their puppy.

It has something to do with...

I watched INLAND EMPIRE.

It is by far the most enigmatic David Lynch film ever. There is way too much going on in it to keep your head straight. At one point, the main character even says something to the effect that time is so screwed up and it is a total mind f**k. It really is.

Time and reality are concepts absent from this film. That is the case with Lost Highway and Mulholland Drive as well, but this is 47 times worse (or better, depending on how you look at it). It reminds me a little bit of the structure of a Maya Deren surrealist film with the ease that is slips from one reality to another.

OK, actually, the first hour is pretty much linear, but the next two hours (that's right, it's three hours long) are very much non-linear.

That being said, I like the film. I like the subjective puzzle of it. That's why I like David Lynch films, but this puzzle is damn hard.

Anyway, watch it, dear reader, and we can debate.

OK, I was totally fooled.

All a recently received e-mail said was:

"Your email id won you 250,000,00 pounds and a toyota yaries car. Contact him with your personal information."

Yay!! A toyota yaries car!! I will contact "him" right away.

My First Disciplinary Action ever taken at any job

"Incident Details: At 9:20 pm on BJ #4 a customer gave you their 24 Karat card which you failed to read and acknowledge the guest by using their name. This is a violation of Rule #36 Unsatisfactory job performance. Failure to maintain acceptable standards of quality or quantity of work."

If I do it again, I could be fired.

One Blood-Filled Afternoon

So, I decided that I'm getting older and with age comes the need for certain tests. (Yes, like prostate, thanks for bringing that up.) Anyway, I was thinking that it is about time that I took a cholesterol test. Problem is that whenever I get to the doctor, I've always had coffee and you need to be fasting. Solution?



Why not? It's cheap and kind of fun to do such a test at home. The test has all kinds of time restrictions: Hold hand down at side for 5 minutes, hold hand down for 30 seconds after sticking, put blood in hole within 3 minutes, wait three minutes but not more than 4, pull tab wait for 15 minutes. It's crazy.

So, I stick my finger and to my surprise...no pain whatsoever. I felt nothing and I was bleeding. So I go to put blood in the circle of the test and I just have a tiny drop. Barely enough to even wet the surface. So, I squeeze and squeeze for another drop. Unfortunately, the "circle" is concaved, when I touch it with my finger I just spread it around. I get blood everywhere but in the damn circle. It's on the table, my shirt, and my hands look like I just killed someone and chopped them into bits. The damn little circle though is rather pristinely clean, mocking me.


I eventually get it all in and wait the appropriate amount of time and the results are kind of low, 136. So, they are highly suspect.

I recommend this test for an unusual time, but not for accurate results.

I just got a scrapbook on live journal.

I just got a scrapbook on livejournal.

So, ha ha, the joke is on you.

I'm taking up space on your friends page quite rudely with pictures I took with a crappy $10 digital camera.

When I took the pictures, it was quite random what would come out. Sometimes the camera would take the picture and sometimes it would just act like it and there was no view finder. I loved it, but alas grew tired of its antics.

Sophistication?

So, I don't really do the LJ things like the interests or really much of anything. Hey, I barely post, but I looked at my interests recently. Here they are:

blackjack, cheese, dvds, eating, food, recipes, sophistication, thinking, writing

OK, things I imagine I did put in there are blackjack, cheese, eating, thinking and maybe writing (although I'm not sure about writing even).

Where the hell did recipes, food, dvds and sophistication come from? Sophistication? That blows my mind. I would have never put that in there. There are so many things that can mean for one. Do I like to use fallacious arguments or am I uppity snob?

Does LJ have some sort of automatic entry thing, that puts it in there?

Or did I really put that there? What was I thinking?

By the way, whenever I think of the word "sophistication", I always think of a woman drinking a glass of wine from the proper glass. Oh, and there is always a cheese plate near by. What do you think of?

The Miserable Plight of My Big Toe

I seem to have injured my big toe. I don't know how, but it hurts and can I can't really bend it. It feels like it is just poking up and immobile. I've never really appreciated my big toe, but now that it is in pain, I do.

So, I went up to Greg and said, "Look," I held my two big toes together for comparison, "my big toe is swollen."
He looked down and asked, "which one?"
"Are you serious?" I was so hurt. I feel like my one big toe is freakishly bigger. I personally can never tell when someone has a swollen finger or foot or whatever, so I was quite proud that I could see the swelling. (Oh yeah, I'll make a great nurse).
So Greg says, "Sometimes one side is bigger than the other." He then begins to flip me off with both fingers. "See, one of my fingers is bigger than the other."
I cursorily studied them, then dismissed it with a "well, not really".
"No really," he said almost angrily, then flipping me off harder. "This one is bigger," he moved his right birdie closer.
Actually, I could tell quite easily. One finger was insanely bigger than the other one. I just didn't want the focus to be on how freakish Greg was, but rather on my big toe's miserable plight.

Existential ennui

"If man, as the existentialist conceives him, is indefinable, it is because at first he is nothing. Only afterward will he be something, and he himself will have made what he will be". - Sartre

Well, I'm making nothing. That's what I feel like, at least right now. I've feel like I've wasted my life, making bad decision after bad decision ending up a shell of a person barely useful as even a statistic.

I relive my past too much, playing the mistakes over and over in my head, wishing to go in the past and start over from a multiple of points. I can't let go of that desire to time travel even though I know it is impossible.

So, my current goal of working in a medical field just seems so meaningless. Help people fulfill their worthless lives as well? Education occupies my mind like a hobby, my own personal opiate.

I think that even if I found a cure for cancer, I would feel my life meaningless. Feeling the oppression of time, life seems too fleeting to make an impact and feel it.

My latest fantasy is organizing a grassroots organization to start a statewide initiative requiring a mandatory amount of vacation time. I'm sick of dealing to Germans with their 20 days off, when I only got 5 days after working for a year. Of course I never had time to ponder the meaning of existence, I need a vacation. Of course, I'm always too poor to do anything when I do get vacation time.

Advice, anyone?

One thing I know for sure. I need sleeping pills. This always hits me when I'm trying to go to sleep.

Oh god, what did I do.

I'm taking a Political Science class online. My teacher is a complete Limbaugh head and thinks the United States will be destroyed by 2050 because of political correctness. I was very polite in the post and asked what exactly he meant by political correctness. I explained that I thought it meant using non-offensive language. He responded bring up Don Imus (of course). In my next reply, I went all over the place as you will see and used the word, "nigger". I figured it was a debate on free speech and that to use "the N word" would be hypocritical of me. Now that I think about it, they kick people out of school for things like that. I'm really worried about it, even though, in the long run, I don't care. Probably at worse it is just a suspension. Anyway here is my response:


Thank you, that's a good example. For some reason, when I originally
was asking, I could only think of Harvard University President Lawrence
Summers.

I have an example that might get your goat. At my work, a person got
written up for telling blond jokes. The person, who heard the joke,
wasn't blond, but thought it was offensive to blonds.

I do feel that our liberties are someone on hold while at work. Free
speech is gone. Privacy is invaded with drug testing (for jobs that do
not involve others' safety). There are also cases where people are
fired for actions while not at work as well. The free market is
becoming the new government with the help of our current government as
well. It was ultimately the free market that fired Imus, not the
government.

I do believe that people should say what they want at work as long as
the person offended is able to respond as they want as well. However, I
must admit, a restriction of offensiveness at work has been nice.

An extreme example at my work (as a dealer) again is when a co-worker
was dealing to a high limit player that was losing. The player
repeatedly called her a "nigger". If she responded "appropriately", she
would have probably suffered a "write-up" or been fired. Also, an
employee saying this word would surely be fired. In this case, they
simply took the dealer off the game and gave him a new, white dealer.

We Make our own Hells

"So, where are you from?" I asked the blackjack player my stock question to appear friendly.

"Now...I'm from Beverly Hills," he replied without an ounce of remorse.

"Where were you from before?"

"Chicago," he said.

"Chicago?" I feigned interest. "That's quite a change."

"Yeah, it's quite different," he admitted.

"So, where do you like better: Chicago or Beverly Hills?"

"I like Chicago for the city, but Beverly Hills for the weather."

"So, what makes Beverly Hills a bad city?"

"I have to say the people," he paused. "They're just so fake and possessed by material goods. Why does a woman that makes $20,000 a year, need an $1,800 purse?"

I nodded. "I have to agree with you, but I have to say that you are living in the absolute epicenter of this way of thinking." I paused, "I hope you don't mind me asking but what possessed you to move there?"

"Oh, well, I'm a plastic surgeon, it really is the best place for my profession."

Another Haiku

Haiku2 for tuber_x
starting to look like everyone has been sick seven days a year
@ aboutmylife.netadvogato.orgblogger.comblogs.gnome.orgblogspot.comdeadjournal.comgreatestjournal.cominsanejournal.comlivejournal.commyspace.comspaces.msn.com
Created by Grahame

Rubber Johnny

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IISxLrH4tH8]

Some Random Thoughts

I just wanted to write this junk down, but unfortunately I'm too busy to write anything substantional.

"See a penny, pick it up and all day long you will be burdened with a small, but cumbersome piece of smelly copper".

A golfer playing blackjack at one of my tables said seriously and offended, "These girls dress like that and they think they have the right to get all huffy when you grab their tits. If they didn't want their tits grabbed then why do they dress that way."

Of course, the most clever thing I was going to put here, I have now forgotten.