The Miserable Plight of My Big Toe

I seem to have injured my big toe. I don't know how, but it hurts and can I can't really bend it. It feels like it is just poking up and immobile. I've never really appreciated my big toe, but now that it is in pain, I do.

So, I went up to Greg and said, "Look," I held my two big toes together for comparison, "my big toe is swollen."
He looked down and asked, "which one?"
"Are you serious?" I was so hurt. I feel like my one big toe is freakishly bigger. I personally can never tell when someone has a swollen finger or foot or whatever, so I was quite proud that I could see the swelling. (Oh yeah, I'll make a great nurse).
So Greg says, "Sometimes one side is bigger than the other." He then begins to flip me off with both fingers. "See, one of my fingers is bigger than the other."
I cursorily studied them, then dismissed it with a "well, not really".
"No really," he said almost angrily, then flipping me off harder. "This one is bigger," he moved his right birdie closer.
Actually, I could tell quite easily. One finger was insanely bigger than the other one. I just didn't want the focus to be on how freakish Greg was, but rather on my big toe's miserable plight.