So, I thought it would be fun to write a little story, being that I like writing. My problem, of course, is that I suffer from a 10-year stint of writer's block. I was thinking the best way may be to write based on previews that I've seen. The previews for a lot of movies are often better than the movie themselves. I usually already have a story in mind when I go to the movies based on the preview. My idea is never the same as the movie and because it comes from me, it happens to be infinitely better.
However, I haven't seen any good previews lately. So, I decided to take two words from the dictionary at random and then place the words in the following format: The "Word 1" of "Word 2". The rules were that I couldn't dispute the words no matter how much I despise them or even if they were improper syntax. I would not allow prepositions though. Face it, "The on of in" is difficult to write a story about. I could then write a story around the title using it as a catalyst for creativity.
The title I ended up with is "The Poop of Mann Act". I really was horrified with the first word. I'm already too poop-centric for words and people find it irritating. I certainly don't want to write a story about poop. Luckily, I ended up with the second definition as in the phrase "poop sheet". Mann Act turns out to be an interesting thing for my finger to land on. The Mann Act is an act of congress (1910) making it a federal offense to participate in the interstate transportation of a woman for immoral purposes. This unfortunately requires research to write a good story. I'm just doing this for fun. Ah screw it.
You know, there's a very interesting story about the Mann Act.
ReplyDeleteLast year the San Diego Wild Animal Park opened its first dolphin exhibit. Although the exhibit was open for public viewing, its primary purpose was to save a rare species of dolphin found in the Indian Ocean.
Breeding was obviously an important part of the program, but initially the dolphins wouldn't cooperate. After trying and failing in several attempts to interest the dolphins in "amour" the trainers consulted a dolphin zoologist at Scripps Oceanographic Institute who suggested that the problem might be dietary. It seemed that this species of dolphin often fed on young seagulls, particularly during their mating season. The zoologist suggested capturing some young gulls and feeding them to the dolphins to see if it would restore their interest in becoming parents.
The trainers were skeptical, but nevertheless went to the beach and captured a number of young gulls. Placing them in cages they took them back to the park, unloaded them and carried them toward the dolphin pool. As they approached, however, they came across two old lions that had evidently escaped from their enclosure and were asleep on the path.
Upon seeing the lions, one of the trainers asked the other whether they should go back and report the escape, but his companion pointed out that the lions were clearly passive, old and lazy, and that it was important to get the young gulls to the dolphins quickly. They proceeded along the path, stepping over the sleeping lions. As they did, however, the gulls saw the lions and began to squawk loudly, awakening the lions who promptly dispatched and ate the two trainers. The incident was reported fairly widely at the time.
The morale of this unhappy event is: Don't transport young gulls across staid lions for immoral porpoises.
Bwaa Haaa Haa Haaa!!!
Where in the hell did you find a lawyer joke site for such a specific joke? Don't tell me you remember this joke from when you were younger, because that's just weird.
ReplyDeleteWell, it just so happens that I *do* remember this joke from when I was young. I didn't *get* it when I was young, and it puzzled me, because I couldn't figure out why seagulls and porpoises and lions were funny. But then when I got older (and learned about the Mann Act) I remembered the joke, and I had a moment of epiphany! (That happened a lot with the jokes I saw in old Bugs Bunny cartoons too ... I didn't get the references until much later, when I started watching old movies and reading about history), and then you mentioned the Mann Act, I remembered that moment of epiphany.
ReplyDeleteSo there's your fucking story right there, Hemingway!
M
That's funny that it would take so long to understand a joke. That must have been a strange moment.
ReplyDeleteI given up on writing that story. I did the dictionary again and got "The Nidifugous of Coffee Break". I like that better, but have to change it to "The Nidifugous Coffee Break".
Wow. Nidifugous? That's a hell of a word! And a hell of a title! Go boy, go!
ReplyDeleteM
That's funny that it would take so long to understand a joke. That must have been a strange moment.
ReplyDeleteI given up on writing that story. I did the dictionary again and got "The Nidifugous of Coffee Break". I like that better, but have to change it to "The Nidifugous Coffee Break".
You know, there's a very interesting story about the Mann Act.
ReplyDeleteLast year the San Diego Wild Animal Park opened its first dolphin exhibit. Although the exhibit was open for public viewing, its primary purpose was to save a rare species of dolphin found in the Indian Ocean.
Breeding was obviously an important part of the program, but initially the dolphins wouldn't cooperate. After trying and failing in several attempts to interest the dolphins in "amour" the trainers consulted a dolphin zoologist at Scripps Oceanographic Institute who suggested that the problem might be dietary. It seemed that this species of dolphin often fed on young seagulls, particularly during their mating season. The zoologist suggested capturing some young gulls and feeding them to the dolphins to see if it would restore their interest in becoming parents.
The trainers were skeptical, but nevertheless went to the beach and captured a number of young gulls. Placing them in cages they took them back to the park, unloaded them and carried them toward the dolphin pool. As they approached, however, they came across two old lions that had evidently escaped from their enclosure and were asleep on the path.
Upon seeing the lions, one of the trainers asked the other whether they should go back and report the escape, but his companion pointed out that the lions were clearly passive, old and lazy, and that it was important to get the young gulls to the dolphins quickly. They proceeded along the path, stepping over the sleeping lions. As they did, however, the gulls saw the lions and began to squawk loudly, awakening the lions who promptly dispatched and ate the two trainers. The incident was reported fairly widely at the time.
The morale of this unhappy event is: Don't transport young gulls across staid lions for immoral porpoises.
Bwaa Haaa Haa Haaa!!!
Well, it just so happens that I *do* remember this joke from when I was young. I didn't *get* it when I was young, and it puzzled me, because I couldn't figure out why seagulls and porpoises and lions were funny. But then when I got older (and learned about the Mann Act) I remembered the joke, and I had a moment of epiphany! (That happened a lot with the jokes I saw in old Bugs Bunny cartoons too ... I didn't get the references until much later, when I started watching old movies and reading about history), and then you mentioned the Mann Act, I remembered that moment of epiphany.
ReplyDeleteSo there's your fucking story right there, Hemingway!
M