I wasn't looking forward to coming back to work today. I just didn't feel like I had two days off and I didn't want to get back to the grind. It didn't help that I was behind someone all the way to the fifth floor of the parking garage going really slow. I showed them, I made it to the elevator before them. I was watching the elevator floors go down. First, the 5 was lit up then 4...3...2. Then what do you know, there was a lack of the number 1. In fact, in place of 1 was a jerky stop of the elevator. Did I cause this? I didn't want to go to work so badly that I caused the elevator to stop? Was it instant karma for hating the person in the slow car in front of me and then beating them to the elevator. There is no air conditioning in the elevator. In the summer, it is usually hotter in the elevator than outside. Luckily, today it was just warmish.
I pried open the doors and wouldn't you know it, I was perfectly stuck between floors. I checked out my options on the panel. There was the alarm button, but that just alerts people in the area. I usually ignore the alarm button when I hear it. I gave it a buzz anyway. Below all of the buttons was a red sign saying, in case of emergency call 555-4854 (except it was a real number, not one I just made up). I opened up the phone door and there wasn't a phone at all. There was a speaker box with a red button and instructions to push it in case of emergency. Is being stuck in an elevator an emergency? I actually paused and then thought what other kind of elevator emergency is there? "I think I broke my leg, please send help." or "I think terrorists have taken over the garage". Probably, the most common emergency is getting stuck. I pushed the button and I heard a phone ringing.
"Hello?" a man's voice answered.
"Hello," I replied.
"Hello," a man's voice answered.
"Hello, I'm stuck in the ele...."
The speaker box interrupted me with, "This is the Clark County parking lot south. Elevator number 2 has stopped and is in need of assistance."
I waited for it to finish and said, "Did you get the message?"
"Yes," he replied and than in an accusatory tone, "Who is this?"
I wanted to say, "Does it matter? Do you really care?" It seemed like such an odd question. However, I replied, "My name is Patrick."
He said that someone would be there soon and that he would call back to check on me. Check on me for what, I wondered. What would I say? "You know, actually could I get some ketchup." I don't think that I would have the option of needing to be checked up on. I'm stuck, not much is going to happen. Perhaps it was in case I started freaking out or something.
I passed my time frantically waving to passing co-workers on their way into work. (There is a window in the elevator, so I wasn't just waving at the wall). No co-workers thought to look at the glass elevators though. As promised, the man called back and I requested that he call the Golden Nugget and let them know that I was stuck in the elevator. He agreed. I guess it is good that he calls to check up.
While waiting, I saw a pimp avec ho walking down the street. Every once in a while, a passenger in a stopped car would notice me not moving and I would wave. I felt like a strange art exhibit. The best thing I saw though was a female clown. She was wearing a horizontal red and white striped shirt and her face was painted with a sad expression. She was driving some sort of town car. While she was stopped at the light. She pulled out a lacey handkerchief and blew her nose. Such a sad clown she was.
Isn't this the type of situation where you are suppose to reflect and have an epiphany of some sort? Well, that didn't happen. The guy called back and this time I could see him talking on his cell phone, looking up at me from the sidewalk. He had on a tan security uniform, not like the one's from security in the parking lot. After he "checked up" on me and he left, I looked out of the window to see a security guard in a blue uniform. He asked me as best as he could why I didn't call him. He looked quite angry. This is just what I need. Some strange parking lot politics to get in the middle. How was I suppose to know and how was I suppose to call him. There was just only a button. Did I push it wrong? I said there was only one button and he motioned that he was going to talk to me later. Just what I need, a tongue lashing. I decided that he wanted me to call the number above the speakerbox, but there was no phone and I don't have a phone and screw him anyway.
The nice security guard called again. Since, I have recently started smoking again, I asked if it was OK to smoke. He said there were no "no smoking" signs, so go ahead if there is ventilation. There was ventilation in the form of a fan blowing hot air and so I had a cigarette.
After being in the elevator for 1 and a half hours, I got out. The blue uniformed guard was not there when I got out, so I feel like I got away with something. What? I don't know.
Work seemed understanding, however, it is a no-fault system. No-fault takes the "human" out of "human resources". In other words, I will be written up for being late. The only way to get out of not being written up is by having a doctor's note saying it is unavoidable. They do like me there though, so maybe I won't get written up. We'll have to see. I also missed out on an hours worth of pay. That really sucks, especially on a Saturday when tips are so good.
You don't have a cell phone? Shame on you!
ReplyDeleteIf ever you were one of those smug fellows who said "I don't need a cell phone" you have certainly been shown the error of your ways.
And don't try to sell me on the argument that a cell phone is too expensive. If you can afford a clock radio that wakes you with the sound of Zulu warriors massing in the distance, you can afford a stinking cell phone.
M
Ah ha! I can go one better than that. I had a cell phone, but never used it. What's the point? Anyway, I'm using the old geezer argument that it is nice to not be able to connect with someone when you are out and about. It gives one a larger sense of self. There are people at work that call home during each break. Listening to their conversation reveals no emergency. In fact, their conversations are boring, "oh really, so what did you eat?" What is the world coming to when you are addicted to a device that allows you to have such a conversation so readily.
ReplyDeleteYou don't have a cell phone? Shame on you!
ReplyDeleteIf ever you were one of those smug fellows who said "I don't need a cell phone" you have certainly been shown the error of your ways.
And don't try to sell me on the argument that a cell phone is too expensive. If you can afford a clock radio that wakes you with the sound of Zulu warriors massing in the distance, you can afford a stinking cell phone.
M